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Confidence and your voice: The sound of your voice

This month is friendship month and I’ve been taking the opportunity to talk about confidence. If you lack confidence in your voice, that can actually mean that you are lacking confidence in yourself because you feel as though you can’t speak, you can’t say what you want to say or be heard as you’d like to be.

This issue is part of what we look at in singing lessons or speech lessons.

This week I wanted to look at a very common issue, hating the sound of your voice when it is recorded. This is such a common issue because how we perceive our own voice is very different from how others perceive it.

Hearing your voice

When other people are listening to your voice, they are hearing it simply as a sound wave. So they’re getting all of the frequencies of the sound wave.

When you are listening to your own voice, as you speak, you are not just getting the frequencies of sound wave, but because you are the person creating the sound. The mechanics are moving to create that voice and you are actually feeling vibrations through the skull from the larynx up and through your mouth. So you don’t just hear sound waves coming into your ears, but you’re feeling vibrations that are going up into the ossicles and feeding into the sensory organ.

Quite often we hear and perceive our own voices as being lower because we are picking up on a lot of the lower vibrations through the lower frequencies. And in actual fact, other people are hearing our voice higher.

We have to accept that and be aware that this is the case – we are always going to hear ourselves differently because we are picking up so many other things that other people can’t pick up on.

Imposter syndrome

Next, let’s look at imposter syndrome. It happens to us all, when we feel that what we have to say isn’t good enough or that how we are speaking isn’t good enough. That there are people who can speak better, who have a nicer singing voice or a better speaking voice than us. But who actually says what is good enough?

At the end of the day, it’s all about perceptions. And that is what makes the world go round, is that we are all unique.

How we perceive different music is some people like it, some people don’t. Life and art are subjective. So please stop listening to your voice and thinking that what you have to say is wrong, or not good enough, and start knowing that what you say, how you say it and how you sound is uniquely you.

There might be people in the world who don’t like it, but that says more about them than it does about you. And what you have to say is just as important and just as relevant as what everyone else is saying. And if other people don’t like it, that’s fine. It’s not about them, it’s about you and how you are and how you feel.

So please consider what I’m saying and think about your confidence in yourself and in your voice, whether it be feeling like you have an imposter syndrome, whether you feel as though you sound weird to other people or your accent is wrong. Start thinking, it’s me, it’s who I am. It’s unique and it’s wonderful.

If you need help with that, contact me and I can certainly help you. Here’s the video that goes with this blog!